If you were to ask me a few years ago if I were going to run a couple of workshops for Pride Month, I would have said no. It would have been a quick no without thought behind it because the no would have been fuelled by fear. I didn’t feel like I was connected to the community at all and I’m not just talking about the general community here. I didn’t feel connected with the LGBT+ Community either.

How was I suppose to feel connected to the LGBT+ Community when it’s an unseen one where I live? There was a narrative that kept running through my head, too: Be the change you want to see.

It’s an inspiring quote and it’s not mine. It’s been told to me a lot, mostly by allies or cis-straight people who had no idea just how terrifying and unsafe that idea was to be. I want to see more queer people in my area? Put on my make-up and colour my nails? Even now, I’m warned of areas where I shouldn’t walk through looking like that. How can I be the change that I want to see when that change could get me abused, violated or worse…killed. It’s a toxic quote, if you think about it. It also put the ownership back on me. I should have asked those allies and cis-straight people: So what are you doing to help me see that change? What are you doing as an individual to facilitate this change? What are you sacrificing?

I’ve said goodbye to people who refuse to make any sacrifice that makes them vulnerable when they expected me to be the one to do it for them.

“It’s not just my job to see the change. It’s yours, too, especially if you claim to support me.”

I did a radio interview at the start of this month. They stopped me mid-story to thank me for being brave. I’m not one to automatically accept a compliment. I have to train myself to listen and thank the person for the compliment. They went on to tell me how I had been brave and you know what, they were right. I spoke to the Local Government about how I felt unseen. I spoke to the local libraries that I felt there wasn’t enough (if any at all) of LGBT+ literature. (I still don’t.) I sat down with the (now) Mayor of my local city and told her my story. I walk down the streets being my authentic self and asking local shops and services why the LGBT+ Community isn’t seen. I’ve put myself out there and have told my story…putting myself in a vulnerable place.

Being vulnerable does not mean being weak.

Repeat that because we are taught otherwise.

I am brave. I am strong. This is me. (12 gold stars to anyone who gets that reference.)

Today, I put myself in front of others and I tell my story and I attempt to teach them skills to find their quiet voice, repeat it over and over again until it is loud and learn to love their own voices.

A few years ago, I would have quickly said no to the idea of me doing anything that I’ve already done and yet here I am. I’ve done it.

You can do it, too. I believe in you.