2019 was a difficult year for me, but it was also exciting. I had so many ideas and plans put into place that by the end of it, I was hopeful for 2020. I had a couple of career paths lined up. I was beginning to break out of my shell that self isolation had put me in and this isolation wasn’t caused by a horrific virus, though some might argue that fact. No this isolation was caused by homophobia and how I disconnected myself from a community I was convinced hated me.

One of these shell breakers was Else, a very talented artist (both visually and written). We hit it off spectacularly. There were weeks we even started conversing daily. My husband, Joel, was opening up to her (which him being an introvert took some time) and she was fast becoming an important part of our inner circle. It was a beautiful friendship that I took great care in building in the coming months.

I always had an idea to put art with my words and make prints. Else loved the idea. I told her that I had been trying to start this idea up with multiple artists and it just always fell through for some reason or another. We were hellbent on making this work, despite the fact I was in Australia and she was in the United States. But we did it. We put a business plan together in between playing games over video, laughing (alot), crying when we needed to and facing some really personal life struggles that just kept flying our way. We even had to weed through our dramas we caused with each other but laughed about it afterwards.

Emanee was born. Her art. My words. With their powers combined, we created some pretty spectacular pieces. We had a trial one ready to present to the world. See if we’d get any preorders. A whole plan was in motion.

Then COVID hit and at the same time COVID hit, Else had some drastic life changes she had to deal with. Totally understandable. Emanee had to be paused. We just weren’t in the right headspace and we didn’t think the world would have been either. So collectively we waited.

Then it turned to less waiting and more wondering…as life kept getting in the way and our chats were growing further and further apart. We tried so hard to keep a consistency going with each other, but life kept throwing wrenches and neither of us were prepared to play catch. COVID wasn’t going away but unfortunately our contact with each other did.

I’m not sure what’s happened since, but I kept looking at our sample of Emanee and dreaming. Hoping things would settle.

But they didn’t. COVID destroyed a lot of lives, dreams and securities. I’m sad to say Emanee was one of them.

Not all friendships stick around. They come and go. They drift. They disappear, but I will forever have fond memories of games, laughter, silliness, dance parties and so much more. Else impacted my life in so many ways and as it became apparent that our days of chatting as much were over…and dealing with the change and the grief of losing that consistency in that friendship turned into tears and learning not to check my phone…knowing I wouldn’t wake up to a hello or a silly video about her life. Coffee dates and organising games.

We drifted away. Not dead. Just like Emanee, though that trademark is gone, the idea remains. The memory. I’ll do something with my words and I’ll find art to go with it. Until then, as I reminisce and miss her and Emanee, I share with you that sample we were prepared to show the world…before COVID took it away.

Else’s work can be found at her website. Check her out, support her and give her the business she deserves. I hope to one day walk through a gallery full of her work. She does custom designs, her own work and, as you might already know, the cover of Shorts, which you can check out on my website here.