[A kitchen. A elderly woman is standing near the table organising breakfast. A man walks in quietly. He stands in front of the coffee maker and begins to pour himself a cup.]
Joel: [smiles to himself, his foot lightly tapping]
Elderly Woman: [spoken] You’re smiling.
Joel: [happily sighs] Yes, yes I am. [Tap dances around the table as he helps set it.]
Elderly Woman: [spoken] You’ve been staying up late.
Joel: [giggles] Yes, yes I have.
Elderly Woman:
I knew something was going on
from the moment you walked through that door,
your foot is incessantly tapping heal to toe against the floor,
this thing that’s come over you, it’s created a rhythm beneath your shoe,
that smile seems to be traveling through each step,
and don’t think I haven’t noticed just how late you’ve slept.
What’s going on? Don’t make me wait.
Joel: Nan, I’m going on a DATE!
Elderly Woman: Is that why you’re smiling?
Joel:
No, nan, it’s the fact that I’ve been living at home until I almost reach thirty,
the clouds have been looming for years,
void of the sun and the stars and all things flirty,
of course I’m smiling now, the sun is now shining,
the glass is half full and the clouds are now dying,
and it’s brought a smile to my miserable fate,
all because I’m finally going on a DATE!
Nan: I never thought this day would ever come here, no more making dinner for you or washing your crusty underwear.
Joel: [spoken] Nan, seriously…
Nan: It’s true! I can see it all shiny and blue. My pension kicks in and I set sail in…the CARIBBEAN BLUE! Oh, Joel, my darling, it’s TRUE! Rather never it’s just late, my pathetic eldest is finally going on a DATE!
[Insert epic dance number here, which draws in Joel’s Nan, and other family members, eventually leading outside, where neighbours are drawn into it.]
ALL: Rather never, it’s just late, for Joel’s finally on a DATE!
Nan: I can’t wait to say, ‘Get out!“
Joel: Nan, that’s not what this is about.
Nan: [spoken] Oh yes it is.
Joel: [spoken] Whatever.
Nan: Yes, rather than never it’s just drastically LATE!
Joel: Set sail, nan, for the blue, because you know it is true!
Joel and Nan: We’re going on a date!!
Joel: [spoken] Wait, no, we’re not. I am.
Nan: Oh shoosh, you, and let’s get back inside and wash behind your ears.
Joel: [spoken] Oh God.
[Scene fades with Nan pulling Joel inside while the family members and neighbours watch on as Nan continues to rant about washing up and if he’s wearing fresh underwear.]